It's been said that behind every successful man is a successful woman. This is especially true for these four spouses of OSU coaches. The support they provide to their husband as a coach as well as their own family is something that not many OSU fans take time to think about. Life off the court, mat or ring for spouses Shelley Budke, Trena Sutton, Julie Sanchez and Toni Smith revolves around their husbands' sports as well as supporting their children's activities.

As the newest coaching family in Stillwater, Kurt and Shelley Budke are beginning to find their place in the community. Budke, the OSU women's basketball coach, is in his second year at Oklahoma State.

Shelley grew up in Haysville, Kan., and attended Coffeyville Junior College before returning to Friends University in Wichita, Kan.

The couple met at Friends University in Wichita, Kan., where Kurt began his coaching career with the men's team while Shelley played for the women's team.

"After we married, we were there two years before moving to Iola, Kansas, where he started coaching women's basketball," says Shelley. The Budkes then bounced from a junior college in Texas to Louisiana Tech before landing in Stillwater.

"From the very beginning, Kurt's always said he wanted to coach in the Big 12. But we knew we couldn't go from junior college right into that - that doesn't happen very often. We knew there were going to be moves in between," Shelley says.

Shelley believes her interest in basketball and her experience as a player gives her a greater understanding of the expectations and demands of a head basketball coach and his family.

"I keep thinking there are families that make it, but if you didn't like basketball or had never played I think it would be hard," Shelley says. "I can kind of relate to what's going on."

Yet, with three kids thrown into the mix, there is more to consider than just the love of basketball. The Budkes' daughter was 16 and their sons were 14 and 10 when they came to OSU.

"They have adjusted much better than I thought they would," Shelley says. "It was definitely hard on them, especially the older two, but it's probably been our smoothest move as far as getting to know people."

Since settling into Stillwater, Shelley says she's enjoyed getting to know Stillwater and OSU communities.

"I find myself falling in love with the town, and I know Kurt and I could live here the rest of our lives."

The family been impressed with Stillwater as well as the enthusiasm and traditions of OSU students and alumni.

"It's awesome," she says. "I can't imagine an athlete walking onto this campus and then choosing to attend another university. The facilities and traditions here are fantastic. There's just no comparison."

Even though last year was a tough season, Shelley says support from the OSU community and basketball fans makes it easier to support her husband while he's facing the challenges of building a quality program.

"Last year was definitely a tough year, but Kurt does such a good job of not bringing home the bad. Sometimes it carries over, but he doesn't sit around and mope about it all the time.

"The fans last year were so awesome. Even though we did not have a good year, I did not hear one negative thing," Shelley says. "Everyone just kept saying, 'We believe. We're going to support you. Keep working hard.' I think the key is to bring excitement to the gym and get the students involved.

"I don't show my emotions a lot, but if something good happens, you bet I'm the first one out of my chair," she says. "But if things aren't going well I try not to overreact because I know how hard the girls work."

Shelley anticipates the day her husband leads OSU to its first women's basketball Big 12 title and all the hard work and dedication to the program pays off.

"We were actually just talking about winning a Big 12 title last night," Shelley says. "I think you have to say it and believe it before it will happen. If you don't ever believe you can win the Big 12 title, then you won't."

Even though life can be demanding, Shelley says she wouldn't trade it because she loves the game and her husband.

"There are a lot of great opportunities, such as travel, that I wouldn't get to do otherwise. But there is also the bad side of being a 'single parent' and not having Kurt home every night from mid-October until after the Final Four in April. I guess there's good and bad with any occupation, but I wouldn't trade my life with anyone."

Following in the footsteps of a coaching legend is never easy. Yet for Sean Sutton, taking over as head coach after his father, Eddie, it's a blessing and an honor.

As the Sutton family moves into a new era, Trena Sutton is prepared to take on the new challenge as wife of a head coach.

Trena played basketball at a junior college in Paris, Texas, before coming to OSU where she was very involved with the program although she didn't play basketball.

"I have been here since," Trena says. "It's home. I worked with the women's team here my last two years. Sean, of course, played basketball, and our paths crossed every day. The rest is history."

Following his famous father will have its difficulties, Trena believes, but ultimately it's still just basketball and coaching with a desire to succeed.

"I think this first year there will definitely be more pressure because of the expectations everybody has for getting a good recruiting class and having a good season. He wants to do great this first year.

"Aside from that, there are more things expected of us; but it really is the same because Sean wanted to win just as much as an assistant coach as he does as a head coach. That has not changed."

Because of the Suttons' strong family ties to each other and to OSU basketball, Trena believes it is more of an honor than a challenge for Sean as he follows in his father's footsteps.

"I'm sure it's an honor for him to play on Eddie Sutton Court," Trena says. "His dad is a legend, and it's an honor for people to love his dad and admire and respect him the way they do. I'm sure he is excited to coach on it. He's been waiting for this. Head coaching is what he has always wanted to do."

During games, she admits she can get as excited as everybody else, although she tries to hold her tongue.

"I have learned a lot from my mother-in-law, Patsy," Trena says. "She's taught me so much and she truly doesn't hear anything that goes on in the arena around her. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm trying to get there. There should be some kind of class for coaches' wives to teach them all they need to know."

Even though the game of basketball is loved by the Sutton family, it does affect the family. This is especially true when there is a loss or a bad game, mainly because of Sean's competitive nature and drive to win.

"We tell him we're sorry about the loss, and then we pretty much leave him alone to watch the game tape and study it and try to figure out how he could have won the game," Trena says. "He's not so much fun to be around after a loss, so we kind of give him his space."

Winning is almost more important to Sean because of their sons, ages 14, 9, and 4, she says, and when there is a loss, the boys are just as competitive and focused on the game as their dad.

When Trena is not at one of the OSU basketball games, she is usually working with the boys on their sporting activities.

"I am usually shagging basketballs or catching pitches. Most of the time, we are outside doing some kind of sports. That keeps me busy. Knowing that Sean's not going to be there a lot of the time, I have to be mom and dad."

Trena says she believes Sean is bound for nothing but success.

"He has dreamed of this his whole life. And I believe he will have a national championship," she says. "It will be rewarding because he's worked so hard for it -- our whole family has. A national championship would be really special."

Developing a career in collegiate sports can be difficult, but for Larry and Julie Sanchez, building the OSU equestrian program has been a family activity.

Julie, a city girl from northern California, met Larry during her junior year of nursing school at the University of Colorado.

"We met at a Garth Brooks concert, and I wasn't even a country music fan," she says.

After marrying, they moved to Las Cruces, N.M., where Larry began coaching the New Mexico State Equestrian Team.

"I had never even been to a rodeo, I didn't know too much about horses until I met Larry," Julie says. "He has always been interested in animals and horses. When I met him it was definitely a new world for me."

In 1998, OSU contacted Larry about the coaching position for the OSU Equestrian Team. "He just came to see what was out here because we were not looking to move at all. When he came out here, he called me and said, ‘You are going to love it.'"

The following January, the couple and their two children, ages 1 and 3, moved to Stillwater.

"It is such a family community here," Julie says. "It is also a college town, which I think makes it fun. There are so many parks and things for families to do here, and it is a safe place."

Besides Stillwater's atmosphere, Larry was excited about the opportunity to build a strong program and have the resources to obtain quality competitors.

"It was a great opportunity for him and for the girls on the team," Julie says. "He kept saying ‘I can offer them so much more here. I can offer them scholarships.'"

Julie balances her time between her children and her part-time job at the Stillwater Surgery Center.

"Thankfully, Larry has been successful here," Julie says. "With his personality, he is always striving for improvement even if he is doing the best he can. He always thinks he can do better. I guess that is what makes him a good coach."

But when losses do occur, she tries to be supportive.

"I think part of my job is to keep giving him a pep talk and tell him he is doing a great job," she says. "And continue being the support person at home for him."

Julie also helps out with their own horses that they breed, train and compete with as members of the American Quarter Horse Association. Because of this family operation, when Larry is out of town coaching Julie is responsible for feeding and taking care of the family's horses.

"I really enjoy the horses, but I am not as comfortable with them as he is," she says. "When he is home, he spends a lot of time with the horses. And now that the kids are older it's something we can all do together. He lets them groom and ride the horses and teaches them about horse behavior. That's our family time together."

Julie says both of their children, Colton and Caitlyn, enjoy horses, and Caitlyn is looking forward to competing in the future.

"She really looks up to the girls on the team," Julie says. "She has some really good role models there."

In addition to his work with the OSU Equestrian Team, Larry chairs the Varsity Steering Committee, which sets rules and the competition format for collegiate equestrian programs and provides information to colleges and universities interested in adding the sport at the varsity level.

Even with the sacrifices and the ups and downs of competition, Julie enjoys the connection that the equestrian team provides for the team members and her family.

"I am proud of him," Julie says. "We have a great group of girls -- 59 on the team -- and he has a good rapport with them. I think they really respect him, and he really cares about them and what they are doing. He wants them to succeed in the classroom, and he wants them to be an asset to the community. I think he is a good role model for them."

Continuing a tradition that started at OSU in 1916 is no easy task, yet for wrestling coach John Smith and his wife, Toni, creating a family atmosphere around the sport has allowed for much success in his 16-year career at OSU.

Toni Smith, who came to OSU in 1985 from Oologah, Okla., is glad her husband was able to find a coaching job in Oklahoma.

"I could have ended up a long way from home," Toni says. "It really was my dream to stay in Oklahoma."

John and Toni met as OSU students, and have never thought of leaving. While John coaches, Toni stays busy home-schooling their four children, ages 3, 5, 7 and 9.

"One of the reasons we decided to home-school was because John has really odd hours," Toni says. "That way, I can bring the kids up here to see him during the day, especially when things get really crazy during the season."

The Smiths' love for OSU and the Stillwater community is often transferred to the wrestlers who become part of the family.

"Compared to more urban schools, OSU has more of a homey feel," Toni says. "It's such a welcoming place, and wrestling at OSU is like a big family."

While Toni and the kids are not actually on the mats with the wrestlers, they enjoy being able to show their support for the team.

"I really love the matches," Toni says. "The NCAA tournament is one of the most exciting times. Our oldest gets to travel with his dad quite a bit, and I think one of the best things for the kids is they are learning at a young age how to interact with adults."

Not only does Toni attend the matches, she also invites the recruits and the team members to her house on a regular basis. At the Smiths' house, the wrestlers are welcome to ride horses, play with the kids, eat dinner and just relax.

"I love to cook, and it gives me an opportunity to take care of and feed a lot of boys who are good eaters," she says.

Over the years, both Toni and John have developed a parental mentality for the wrestlers on the team, especially those who have traveled from other states to wrestle at OSU.

"When John started coaching, we were only three or four years older than most of the team," Toni says. "Now, I'm as old as a lot of their mothers and older than a few. We are pseudo-parents for a number of boys on the team.

"I feel like my kids, especially my boys, have a dream childhood," Toni says. "They always have wrestlers wrestling with them and are surrounded by all these elite athletes."

Toni says she's enjoyed watching her husband develop as a coach as well as the program's success under his control.

"John never brings wrestling problems home," Toni says. "I think that is the secret to a happy marriage with a coach. It's like a doctor -- any conversations he has with the boys are private. Past the starters, I don't know who is not pulling their weight or having trouble in practice."

This provides a home where John can get away from the worries of coaching and just enjoy being a father and husband, Toni says, and allows her to focus on the positive sides of their family and their relationship.

"Being a coach's wife, I've learned to always be positive and never criticize," Toni says. "I always try to pull out the best thing I can find about him and the team and highlight that because so many people criticize coaches.

One of the highlights for the Smith family is the chance to attend the NCAA national tournament. Last year it was held in Oklahoma City.

"I love being a coach's wife," she says. "We have such an opportunity to be involved in these boys' lives at such a pivotal time. John gives good advice to his athletes. Some have come back after they've had families of their own, and it's so great to hear what a good influence John was on their life, not as a coach, but ethically and morally."